Once again this season, the Weevils play to a shoot-out loss..this time to Mr. Peanut and the Rocky Mount Rangers. That makes four OT games in a row and a fitting way to close out the current iteration of Weevil Nation. The game summary is unimportant, unoriginal, unsubstantiated, unorganized and, based on PointStreak stats, would probably be wrong anyway…the prime example of which is BMoore took a penalty in the second period, all the while being no where near Wake Forest…another outstanding job by the fabulous scorekeeping crew!! The highlights include having Mich back in net for us, Pinna and Cow making nicey-nice, and Sattora putting in another outstanding performance for his Weevil finale…including scoring the tie goal with 6 seconds left in the game to put us into the shootout, where we would ultimately succumb to the Weevil curse…all the while coughing up his right lung…and half of a teryaki pork tenderloin. In short, congrats and thank you to everyone for putting in a respectable effort this season against a very difficult array of teams and semi-pro players. Your efforts are much appreciated.

The evening ended with another Weevil-style parking lot blow-out, the retirement of Sattora’s number and the presentation of his game jersey/tarpelin for his “more than 8 seasons” of leadership, participation and contributions to Weevil lore. Sattora will be sorely missed by this club both on and off the ice. We wish him well with his cholesterol levels and in his endeavors up in PA, and we welcome any return visits for the annual yet-to-ever-be-scheduled alumni tournament.

In honor of Sattora’s imminent departure, and as one of his biggest fans, I feel it’s only fitting to have one last Top 10 to capture his true meaning to this team. So……

TOP 10 GOING AWAY GIFTS PRESENTED TO SATTORA SAN

10. From Neil - A bong in the shape of a Twinkie.
9. From BMoore - His infallible alarm clock and his book of obscure movie quotes.
8. From Diddle - A secret website password…..”Oreo”.
7. From Skatch - The number to a good “masseuse” and a slightly used tube of antibiotic cream.
6. From Uni - 4 cheese brats and a reduced rate on life insurance premiums for people with BMI’s (Body Mass Indexes) over 75.
5. From Pinna - His diamond studded dog collar, leash and his autographed copy of the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”
4. From Mich and Ved - A plate of chocolate chip cookies made with soy, sugar substitute and reduced fat butter.
3. From Huevos - Several expired coupons for generic mustard and his opinion on EVERYTHING!!!
2. From Yow - His Canadien jersey with 86″ sleeves.
1. And finally…..from Cow - His undying love, admiration and support…………………………..and his ab roller, some dexatrim pills, “Buns of Steel” videos, running shoes, a box of low fat Girl Scout cookies, the “Atkins Diet” book, a fun house mirror, the hotline number to Overeaters Anonymous, some skin tightening cream, 2 pairs of Boys Husky pants, Dr. Scholls maximum strength in-soles, a girdle, and a part-time summer position as a counselor in a Pocono Mountain Fat Camp.

Good luck Mongo, you goofy bastard. We’ll miss the hell out of you!!