Back Door Pub Cries Way To 6-4 Win
Weevil Nation came out for the first game of the 2008 hockey season full of vigor and high expectations for the “last call” time slot at the Factory Icehouse yesterday evening. Most of the regulars were in attendance…sans Zarby (shopping for hair care products), Browneye (returning aluminum cans to help pay the remainder of his league fees) and Diddle (recovering from his 10-day European tour of gay bath houses). Huevos even made an appearance in the stands at some point during the contest to cheer on his beloved brethren and subsequently offer his always welcome post-game anayisis in the eventual melancholy locker room.
After filling out a league registration form for the 9,875,231 time, the Weevs all gathered in the locker room to discuss various topics, including bad ’80’s movies and strange skin deformities, and to take a look at what kind of hell the holiday’s had wrought on the physiques of the great Weevil Nation. Incredibly, most people fared pretty well over the long holiday layoff…Sattora looked like a svelt Tiajuana crack whore, Uni looked as if he only ate 7 instead of his usual 10 holiday roast beasts, and Skatch’s nipples were as tight as Cow’s girdle!! Discussions then lead to the annual Weevil Nation New Year’s resolution list, which is as follows:
2008 Weevil Nation New Year’s Resolutions
Ved - Hear no Weevil, see no Weevil, but especially speak no Weevil…..
Michelle - Stop hogging all the glory.
Pinna - Stop passing so much, take some shots and stop trying to be everyone’s friend.
Uni - Limit pizza consumption to only 2 pies per sitting.
Skatch - Run for local chapter president of N.O.W. (National Organization for Women) and be more of an a-hole.
Zarby - Learn to use this new thing they just came out with called the internet.
Neil - Graduate from anger management class……finally….and change jersey numbers……again!!
Cow - Finally shed the double blade skates and take a leap into the 21st century with some semi-modern equipment.
Diddle - Start a cool hockey website to post stories, join a forum, relay information…and finally order us some damn jersey’s!!
Yao - Increase wingspan from current 15′-6″ to 20′-0″ and denounce all things Canadien.
Charlotte - Stop making opponents cry by giving them a hug after dropping their punk arses.
Browneye - Finally finish tattoo montage by inking BMoores stick and berries on his face.
Gensch - Get another vowel for his last name and post at least 3 times on the website.
BMoore - Develop modeling agency exclusively for ultra-white (almost transparent), hairy, freckled Irishmen who have a fetish for butchering other languages and self-gratification.
Sattora - One word………………….COOKIES!!!
This was our first opportunity to cash in on the opportunity to start anew….a kinder, gentler yet bigger, faster, stronger Weevil Nation!! However, our collective bluff was called early in this contest, as the Back Door Pub came ready to defend their Fall 2007 B-league championship.
(Stay tuned for game summary once the Einstein’s at the Factory figure out how to post last night’s game results…I think they’re busy acting on Uni’s request for soap dishes in the shower…..more to come once the game results are posted…..)
Great start to a wonderful writeup season! I nominate Cow to do the rest of them as well.
BTW. The bath houses were very nice. And you can’t get your pocket picked in the buff.
“have a fetish for butchering other languages and self-gratification.” Classic!
Go Weevils Go!
http://jalopnik.com/341617/personalized-plate-slips-by-north-carolina-dmv
Cow, you really have a crush on me don’t you.
Yes…a big man-crush….
….or I should say a big-man crush…..
…I’ve been told I’m a chubby chaser….
Didn’t know I hit morbidly obese already. Your body looks like it was dipped in pancake batter.
SAN
The friggin link i sent was altered by this friggin website / replace poop with sh*t
Mmmmmm….pancakes…….
“Glass houses man, glass houses” to quote a very wise and beloved young man.
Nice!!!
“The wise old owl who lived in the oak,
the more he saw…the less he spoke,
the less he spoke…the more he heard,
why can’t we all be like that wise old bird?”
“Jimmy crack corn, and I don’t care
Jimmy crack corn, and I don’t care
Jimmy crack corn, and I don’t care
My master’s gone away”
Now that’s just stupid…
Stupid is…Stupid does
So it looks like pointstreak is still going to be a nightmare.
Now what starts with the letter “C”?
“Cookie” starts with “C”!
Let’s think of other things that starts with “C”!
Uh. . .Uh. . . Who cares about da other things?!
“C” is for Cookie that’s good enough for me,
“C” is for cookie that’s good enough for me,
“C” is for cookie that’s good enough for me,
Oh! cookie, cookie, cookie starts with “C”!
Hey, You know what? A round cookie with one bite out of it looks like a “C”
A round donut with one bite out of it also looks like a “C” but it is not as good as a cookie.
Oh, and the moon sometimes looks like a “C” but you can’t eat that.
So…
“C” is for Cookie that’s good enough for me,
“C” is for cookie that’s good enough for me,
“C” is for cookie that’s good enough for me,
Oh! cookie, cookie, cookie starts with “C”!
Cookie Cookie Cookie Starts with “C”
Cookie Cookie Cookie Starts with “C”
What fumes are you guys sniffing?
haha. now that is stupid, but it did make me laugh.
Next week I’ll pick on someone else…promise….
enough! “I got to go to work!” Nice meat head league u got me into SAN
Laviolette is smart if canes can play good there they got edge on rest of league - what a dump -but its hock’s socan’tcomplain
you know there’s places in Jersey that are way worse. But yeah it is a hole. Alright enough cause, “I gotta go to work!!!!!”
Cow, I think you should consider digging up your Mongo jokes again.
All this late hocks is killing me. I feel as old and tired as Cow’s jokes.
Well you do look like you’re 40-ish…..
1st time vist to R B C center was pretty nice especially the STORM SLUTS -they added a little whoreness to the game
SAN did you hear announcer right before game start say “Lets cheer the Hurricanes to a win against their nemisis the NJ Devils and send them back to Haiti otherwise known as Newark New Jersey” racist but I loved it