Uni Throws Rock - Shatters Pinna’s Glass House
Let’s start the final story of the 2007 hockey season with an interpretation of one of the most storied holiday classics. Some liberties have been taken for entertainment purposes only and are not necessarily the opinions of Weevil Nation management, nor are they intended for rebroadcast or reproduction.
On the 12th day of Christmas, my Teno gave to me….a 6-3 win and:
12 MPH on Cow’s shot
11 Pinna jokes
10 Weevil skaters
9 total goals
8 sides to a glass house
7 slices of pie for Uni
6 Rangers raging
5 G-o-l-d-e-n W-e-e-v-i-l-s!!
4 pitchers of beer
3 successful penalty kills
2 chipped teeth
and a Spragoo in the Penalty box!!!
Well…the holiday fog has lifted and the people want a story from the master story teller. However, BMoore declined so I am stepping back in/out of retirement as correspondent for the final update of the 2007 season. I guess in the very least, everyone could use an explanation of the above referenced Christmas classic. As previopusly stated, this was the final game of the 2007 Hockey season. Unfortunately, it was only the consolation game, as the Weevils were no match the previous week for the juiced up, semi-pro, well groomed Vetted Beavers. Our punishment…play for third against the missing link (Sprague) and his henchmen…the Rocky Mount Danger Rangers.
The Weevil bench was nice and warm on this night, as it was homecoming week in Weevil Nation with Cow and Huevos making an alumni contribution to this game and only a few of the regulars in attendance to give us 10 skaters (see Day of Christmas #10). The upcoming holiday must have been on everyone’s mind, as the first period proved fruitless for the good guys. The Rangers found an opening late in the first to go up 1-0. Little passing and much philosiphizing over glass houses and such was held this period between Uni and Pinna (see Days of Christmas #8 and #11).
The second period was full of yuletide cheer for Weevil Nation. Myze delivered a present in the opening 3 minutes to Spragoo Clause, and the 2 of them scrapped behind our goal for a good 90 seconds…most of that time spent with Magilla Gorilla on Myze’s back banging Neil’s teeth against his cage!! Apparently, the Sprague has intimacy issues and refuses to copulate from the front..this according to his handler. Amazingly enough, Myze is pardoned for this effort and lack of porceline veneers and the bloated oaf for the rangers is escorted from the arena (see Days of Christmas #1, #2 and #6). The festivities started up again after the shrapnel was removed from the ice and bagged for evidence. Yao struck first in his new role on the front line. Less than 1 New Jersey minute later, the Sattora/Bmoore/Pinna combo (a.k.a. the “chins/grins/pins” combo) struck twice more to put the Weevs up 3-1. Many opportunities were given to the Weevs throughout this period as everyone got in on the action. Even Cow showed off his Matrix-like shot as the slow motion didn’t even need to be turned on for this one (see Day of Christmas #12). The humidity in the rink must have been low on this night, as any other reason of how that puck stayed airborne that long is inexplicable!!
Pinna puts down the windex at 0:27 into the third period to record his only “recorded” goal of the night, other than that mystery 6th goal for the Weevils, to go up 4-1 (see Days of Christans #8, #9, and #11). The third period also had our sole penalty as Todd “I know the rules, I’m a ref” Huevos makes the only bug appearance to the box on this night. The bad guys put 2 more on the board to get within a goal of the bugs. But to add insult to injury, Sattora saunters down the ice with 30 seconds left to, uncharacteristically, throw the biscuit IN the basket and end this venture at 5-3.
Much holiday cheer was had afterwards at our new favorite place in the world, Old Chicago Pizza & Pasta. Uni puts down everything in his way (see Day of Christmas #4 and #7) and Pinna is, as always, the topic of conversation (see D.O.C. #8 and #11). Everybody loves them some Pinna!! And as we all parted for the season, we could hear in the distance…Merry Christmas to all, and to Neil a good fight!!
Come on Cow! Waiting for a year end masterpiece. No more stolen poems!
I see the Zeepaless beav’s were no match to Gering Bro’s
Who got 2 chipped teeth? cow? from grazing on a beer mug
If I can’t plagerize, it’s gonna take longer!!
How many times do I have to hit refresh before I have something to read?
Cow, good holiday stall tactic with the 12 days of weevil…I am officially going into hibernation since I ate enough food to last me over the off season. (thx chicago’s)
jeez, he has to write one story a year from his own brain and it takes a lifetime.
I’m waiting for PointStreak to update our game stats so I can get all the info. Now THAT could take forever!!
fun times indeed. thanks for giving me a whirl up at center. have a merry christmas, happy chanukah, joyous kwanza, joyful festivus, or whatever it is you and your family celebrate. see you all in the new year.
pointstreak is updated…
Do it cow …do it. btw I took part in the pinet glass house goal. 13 - 97-89 not 13-97-8 (mihawlicksbals). Just thought I would point that out as I am the ALH and need to represent foo!!!
Best Adult League Player in history baby!!!! Retire my number ahead of time….I’m that good. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I have recommended to the league that your number be retired throughout all Icehouse facilities. Your number is 89, right?? Same as your waist size?? Or same as the number of your chins?? I want to be sure we get it correct. It’s a very important event!!
hey who did Ranger #55 fight with himself? I see no weevil with fighting major
DAMN keep that 89/97/13 line together……
OH I forgot Merry Christmas Ho Ho
Like my Ho’s ?
I’ll write the story over the weekend when I get some free time…..finally.
Neil didnt get a penalty in that altercation. I noticed that they gave the penatly to the wrong guy. It was given to Kim Jong iL instead of Spraygoo
this story has taken longer that a bmoore iliad
B…rumor has it we’ll see it when we get the jerseys…in the mean time check out this sweet hit
http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=9553
that was sweet as hell
If you thought that was a good hit check out this video but you have to read this text first. The link is at the end and you have to open up the file to play it.
Canadian Snipers in Afghanistan , Canadian Sniper wiping out Taliban Snipers in Afghanistan . These video shots are not made through the shooter’s telescopic sight. They are made looking through the spotter’s scope. The spotter lies right next to the sniper and helps the sniper to find and home in on the target.
The sniper is using a 50 caliber rifle. A 50 cal. round is about 7-8 inches long and the casing is about an inch in diameter. The bullet itself is one-half inch in diameter and roughly one and one- half inches long.
Pay close attention to the beginning of the video. A Taliban is lying on top of the peak in front of you…… when you hear the shot fired…. watch what happens. The sniper is also about a half mile away… or more.
A Canadian sniper in Afghanistan has been confirmed as hitting an enemy soldier at a range of 2,310 meters (7579 feet or 1.44 miles), the longest recorded and confirmed sniper shot in history. The previous record of 2,250 meters (7382 feet or 1.4 miles) was set by US Marine sniper Carlos Hathcock in Vietnam in 1967. The Canadian sniper was at an altitude of 8,500 feet and the target, across a valley, was at 9,000 feet. Canadian sniper units often operated in support of US infantry units, which were grateful for their help. The record lasted only one day, until a second Canadian sniper hit an enemy soldier at 2,400 meters (8000 feet or 1.52 miles).
The Canadian snipers fire special 50-caliber McMillan tactical rifles, which are bolt-action weapons with five-round magazines. The Canadian snipers were the only Canadian troops operating without helmets or flak jackets as they had too much other equipment to carry. Each three-man team has one sniper rifle, three standard rifles Canadian (C7s), one of them with an M-203 grenade launcher.
Canadian Snipers in Afghanistan , Canadian Sniper wiping out Taliban Snipers in Afghanistan . These video shots are not made through the shooter’s telescopic sight. They are made looking through the spotter’s scope. The spotter lies right next to the sniper and helps the sniper to find and home in on the target.
The sniper is using a 50 caliber rifle. A 50 cal. round is about 7-8 inches long and the casing is about an inch in diameter. The bullet itself is one-half inch in diameter and roughly one and one- half inches long.
Pay close attention to the beginning of the video. A Taliban is lying on top of the peak in front of you…… when you hear the shot fired…. watch what happens. The sniper is also about a half mile away… or more.
A Canadian sniper in Afghanistan has been confirmed as hitting an enemy soldier at a range of 2,310 meters (7579 feet or 1.44 miles), the longest recorded and confirmed sniper shot in history. The previous record of 2,250 meters (7382 feet or 1.4 miles) was set by US Marine sniper Carlos Hathcock in Vietnam in 1967. The Canadian sniper was at an altitude of 8,500 feet and the target, across a valley, was at 9,000 feet. Canadian sniper units often operated in support of US infantry units, which were grateful for their help. The record lasted only one day, until a second Canadian sniper hit an enemy soldier at 2,400 meters (8000 feet or 1.52 miles).
The Canadian snipers fire special 50-caliber McMillan tactical rifles, which are bolt-action weapons with five-round magazines. The Canadian snipers were the only Canadian troops operating without helmets or flak jackets as they had too much other equipment to carry. Each three-man team has one sniper rifle, three standard rifles Canadian (C7s), one of them with an M-203 grenade launcher.
Canadian Snipers in Afghanistan , Canadian Sniper wiping out Taliban Snipers in Afghanistan . These video shots are not made through the shooter’s telescopic sight. They are made looking through the spotter’s scope. The spotter lies right next to the sniper and helps the sniper to find and home in on the target.
The sniper is using a 50 caliber rifle. A 50 cal. round is about 7-8 inches long and the casing is about an inch in diameter. The bullet itself is one-half inch in diameter and roughly one and one- half inches long.
Pay close attention to the beginning of the video. A Taliban is lying on top of the peak in front of you…… when you hear the shot fired…. watch what happens. The sniper is also about a half mile away… or more.
A Canadian sniper in Afghanistan has been confirmed as hitting an enemy soldier at a range of 2,310 meters (7579 feet or 1.44 miles), the longest recorded and confirmed sniper shot in history. The previous record of 2,250 meters (7382 feet or 1.4 miles) was set by US Marine sniper Carlos Hathcock in Vietnam in 1967. The Canadian sniper was at an altitude of 8,500 feet and the target, across a valley, was at 9,000 feet. Canadian sniper units often operated in support of US infantry units, which were grateful for their help. The record lasted only one day, until a second Canadian sniper hit an enemy soldier at 2,400 meters (8000 feet or 1.52 miles).
The Canadian snipers fire special 50-caliber McMillan tactical rifles, which are bolt-action weapons with five-round magazines. The Canadian snipers were the only Canadian troops operating without helmets or flak jackets as they had too much other equipment to carry. Each three-man team has one sniper rifle, three standard rifles Canadian (C7s), one of them with an M-203 grenade launcher.
LINK - http://webmaila.juno.com/webmail/new/21?folder=Inbox&uniqMsgId=0017V1KA00001rXd&attachId=4&user=k_uni@juno.com&content=central
Cow you better write the story I will continue to double paste in the same items unknowly and bog down the site with this stuff…
I dont have a juno email account so I cant watch this!! I am dying on the inside now…
I looked it up on youtube. That is freaking awesome. That dude got straight cut in half! Then his ass goes flying off the mountain, sweet!
that’s from the video series Varmint Safari. Those are goats. They would not have footage from something like that.
Sattora is just jealous he didn’t get a shotgun for christmas and will have to borrower some our guns when we go shooting.
he’s mad he’s not the best
Try your best to win them all
and one day time will tell
when you’re the one that’s standing there
you’ll reach the final bell!
You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fWvub_WBho
that was the most amazing video i have ever seen
besides this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–N1Q8D6dqE
BM did u Tea Bag the cougar?
What can of heroes are these? You guys need to study some winners like these…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yisNKMIr_As
Great writeup Cow! Bravo
… Flush
It’s about time somebody finally READ the story!!
is circuit city sponsoring us?
yeah good write up. Just read it. Way to go Mouth. You definitely have me asking everyone if my ass looks fat and putting cellulite cream on my thighs. Maybe you and the rest of the Goonies can write the next one together. Data may have some good ideas utilizing his latest innovations like slick skates.
My suggestion…stay away from peanuts and bee stings….
My only advice is training wheels for you.
Solid!!