From First to Last in 60 Minutes
We lost in the first round of the playoffs to the last place team, Magna, 5-3.
I really am not sure where to start, but I know that something smells fishy. What smells you ask? Well maybe it was the fact that several Weevils showed up late not taking Magna seriously from the start. Maybe it was the fact that a team that was 1 and 10 showed up in the playoffs with some talent all of the sudden. Maybe it was the fact that our whole team played like a bunch of gabadouches. We shall visit all of these topics in this post. I apologize ahead of time that this will not be a humorous story from the famous Bmoore.
Let us attack the topic of the late weevils first and foremost. All year we have dominated teams that thought they had the skill and heart to step toe to toe with the Weevils. All of these teams found a beast facing them ready to eat livers and drench them in knuckle children as we moved toward the end goal of head gabadouches. Every game we brought heart to the ice! A heart that would take over and propel us to never stop, unrelenting, merciless attacks that lead to 2 games where we beat this team 9-1. What happened? Did we just lose our composure? Did we not care enough to make it happen? Did we not even care to make it a priority to get to the game on time? I think that all of these things had a definite impact on the outcome of this game. Please keep in mind that Sattora does a great job in trying to get the lines together in the last minute every game. Always changing it to acommodate the people running in the door at the last minute. This takes his mind off the game as well. I know that sometimes these things cannot be helped. But during the playoffs? …
Numero dos… How does a team that has 3 wins in the last 3 seasons beat us in the playoffs? (Sidenote: 2 of those wins were against us) Is it the bad news bears syndrome? Did they just grow enormous hearts and win some talent in a poker game before they faced us last night? I think not… Their average loss is calculated through the Skatch sponsored Point Streak, 4 goals per game. If it is indeed true that these losers brought on new players just for the playoffs then shame on them and shame on the league. Season after season the Weevils have showed up with the players on their roster to play the teams that they have faced all year. Every season there is a at least 2 upsets in the first round of the playoffs. Is this just attributed to the fact that the leading teams think they can skate through the playoffs as they did during the regular season? Or is it conspiracy? Either way it falls on the management of the league to enforce the rules they have set for the service they provide. Every season I watch fees go up and quality of service go down. Every member of our team pays over $1000 per year to participate in this league. Should we just succumb to the fact that who ever can bring in the best players for the playoffs win? And shape our team to those rules? Should we just lie down and let the league put priority on the regular season and give us a shotty playoff schedule where at any time you could be cast from first place to last in a matter of minutes? This mentality just cultivates the rules of bring in ringers for the playoffs and don’t worry about all the hard work and heart you put in during the regular season. To get the best team at the end of the season, I propose that we have a shorter regular season and an extended playoffs. I may be biased on this topic, as it has happened the same exact way for the last 6 seasons I have played at the Factory.
Now let us move over to the topic that our team played like a bunch of gabadouches. We started the game confused and out of position. No puck movement and our shots were not on net. There were more than our share of odd man rushes into our zone. And back checking was atrocious. Is it possible that Magna just showed up with their regular roster and beat us fair and square? I think so. Due to the outstanding play of Jason and Sattora we did at least put up some points on the board. But we also put up some great penalties that ended up hurting us in the long run as well. Mich did not let any easy goals in the net, but we definitely did not help her with any of the rebounds. All in all this is a very disappointing end to a very, very fun season.
This was the best season that I have ever experienced with a bunch of gabadouches, and I would like to thank all of you for making it what it is. Several key bugs stepped up and contributed beyond belief, such as Bmoore with his kick ass game novels. Mich with her parties and of course the triple chocolate chunk a chunk a chocolate dipped chocolate chip cookies! Pinna putting asses in the seats, and MadCow giving his spleen to break up a 3 on 1. I can’t forget to mention Zarb with his generous posting abilities or Skatch for his mastery of the Italian bullshit language. Todd, who brought us the Todd Huevos Frenchs Outsanding Atheletic Achievement Award. Oh, and Ved for his constant chatter and advise on all topics of life after the games. The Myze stepped up and lowered his body count this season, but he was mad that it was all for not as the management changed and his slate is now wiped clean. Uni for his on bench spirit in telling us about the most dangerous lead in hockey. Rich for letting us know if he was in or not from game to game. And all of our fans including Coach Q, who is probably creating knuckle children right now because I mentioned his name.
I would also like to take this opportunity to announce that we have a new addition to Weevil Nation, Charlotte Something or other. Since she will be taking Mad Cow’s spot for next season, I think we will really have a shot in the playoffs now. Give Charlotte a grand welcome next time you see her.
Oh! I almost forgot abut the new jerseys a comin’! We can’t go wrong now that we will be styling in the 800 count, super blend, tackle twill, lace lined desert camo jerseys! I will be putting up a paypal link for you to get your payment in. We cannot order them until everyone is paid up. So don’t piss off Skatch and make this a priority.
Ah, how could I have forgot that great bunch of guys that never get penalties and play by the rules all the time? The ever skilled and super captain of the Rimmers has of course posted a derogatory comment about us even though they pulled the same sub crap as the rest of the teams. Let see… Subs are used when you do not have enough skaters to fill your lines for the game. But the Rimmers bring their whole sub list only for the playoffs. Same old Same old. I guess we just are not as good as the other teams when it comes to sub and playoff tactics. I hope to god we see the Rimmers in this years playoffs. I hope RYB does not get too badly hurt in this game.
Oh, relax. You lost one. It happens. You won the rest of ‘em - what’s wrong with that?
Just for the record, short of goalie subs, there isn’t a single person that’s played for us that hasn’t been on the roster from Game 1.
The Ringers won last night probably because I wasn’t there.
Not much too add to that except I am still burping up pizza and smell peperoni because you guys failed to step up in the parking lot and eat just 1 or 2 slices. This of course forced me to eat 5 and not let food be wasted. Disappointing night all around with loss, the food, and especially Cow coming back with a 6-pack for a team plus 20-30 fans, family members, and guests there for the after party (or at least that was the number I think he used when he bought the beer).
I never said that you brought in anyone that was not on your team. You are the only other team that sticks to that rule. But I appreciate going from “Assholes” to “Nitwits”. Thank you, that is much better. I will now take the price off your head.
I think you are all afraid of CHAUDER and decided to lose on purpose. Poor Satora’s jaw!
OH Slap! I am not touching that one.
Is it possible that Magna just showed up with their regular roster and beat us fair and square? YES
I played like a CLOWN……
seeds 3 - 4 - 7 - 8 advanced
seeds 1 - 2 - 5 - 6 shit the bed
great write up, sorry for not stepping up last night
For the record, I never broke my jaw. Simply said to make things more dramatic and get the 3 chinned, worthless, Jr. C, never was anything but a piece of shyte goon, Canadien out of the league. No one can break my superman jaw, especially talentless old men with saggy balls. I just don’t want to share the ice with someone that classless and homogehy to blatantly take an open ice check on someone just to hurt them. I have no problem playing a check game, but lets even the playing field and make sure everyone knows about it before we start playing. I’m sorry your Mom never hugged you as a child and your knuckles drag on the ground when you walk. Don’t ever mention my name again clown. You know where I am on the ice and off the ice. If you seriously have a problem come get some. Don’t be tough guys in front of your other teammates just come see me, take me aside like a big boy and schedule a 1-on-1 fight. Personally I think that is some immature shyte, but if we have to dance then quit f’n around and come get it. Put it to bed.
Just for the record, I didn’t write the comment signed as “RYB.” Someone else must be baiting you.
I can feel the love….
Looks like battle of the Gabadouches next tuesday
weevils (172 PIM) versus Raleigh Vincents (168 PIM)
They had 46 PIM last night in fight fest versus Factory
After suspensions (if they do it being HART is gone) Magna may beat Factory on road to championship game versus blues
enough said on playoffs - Here is where we stand - please let me know if there is a mistake……
Ved / 19 / xxl
Miche / 31 / Goalie cut
zarb / 4 / xl
skatch / 24 / xxl
satsan / 89 / xl
bm / 97 / xxl
diddy / 88 / xl
cow / 40 / xl
uni / 11 / xxl
myzee / 17 / xl
Yao / 77 / xl (gorilla arm length cut)
Pinna / 3 / xl
charlotte ?
Tom ?
Rich ?
I want a change to 8
Why the fuck do you guys do that?! Like I need to get worked up like that. Quit fuckin around with that shit. You guys know I have severe anger management issues. Seriously whoever did that, don’t fuckin do it again. That shit isn’t funny to me. Reczone A/B is looking good right now. Seriously considering golf as my new primary. Fuck this.
Sattora, here is the query from that IP address:
http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=192.58.204.226
Who the hell works at Glaxo?
Man up you pussy motherfucker!!!
I am with Sattora we not need to rile up the “heart” of our team - also change the B/C icon to a standing 89 the Ringers feed off that shit……
They want a war we will give them a war - weevil style - sharpen your elbow pads bitches!
You got to be smart to work for Glaxo so that pretty much eliminates most of our team……
no disrespect here…but I’ve played against you guys for a bunch of seasons at the Factory, and you guys just didn’t have your best game. I made some decent saves, and didn’t give you any rebounds to do anything with.
We were short 3 guys from our regular roster last night, and brought in exactly ZERO subs. We played with 2 lines up front & 3 d. All the guys on the ice last night were there when you beat our asses the last 2 games.
We played a good game with our regular players and no subs. You guys didn’t play your best game with your regular players. That’s why the NHL uses 7 game series….because on any given single night, anything can happen…and it did. Suck it up guys, we played you straight and didn’t pull in ringers.
See you next season!
ant
EXACTLY, why the hell would you do that to your fucking teammate?! You and RYB go back and forth getting everybody all riled up. Easy to do when neither one of you are involved. RYB that was classless for you to share a confidential note that I sent to Hart with your team. Piss on him for forwarding the note to you!! I thought it was one of the dirtiest hits I had seen in my career (even in checking leagues) and wanted my voice heard. I know what kind of player that guy is and that he is just out to hurt people cause he was born big and fat with a small dick and got cut from every hockey team he ever tried out for. He is top 10 out of a bunch of guys without an ounce of talent. Way to go guy! For both of you to play off the situation isn’t cool and I don’t find it funny at all. No body gives a fuck about ringer/weevil rivalry, but you guys. I just want to play good hockey and don’t have time for this childish bullshit. I now know why I quit 10 years ago and am questioning why I ever started back up again. I don’t want to be involved with old men that never got to play competitive hockey making up for lost youth. I am going to play at my level with former accomplished hockey players that have less to prove at this stage in their life. I just wanted to have some fun and stretch my legs out a little. You seek me out based on jealousy, which I had to deal with my entire hockey career. I don’t think I will have to deal with that at a higher level, so I’m out. Plus the 40 min drive blows.
Relax, Francis.
Seriously, is it really worth getting worked up over?? Let’s just take a breath and let it go.
Acknowledge and move on….
You fucks satisfied now with all your ballbusting? Sattora quit and Bmoore going to EyeCare
I doubt it.
come on - who am I going to do gagagagagagagagoooo with if you guys leave
BMOORE is just going to eyeCare because they have a better dental plan!
Sattora,
Trouble is, even when you get up to A league your still gonna have those guys who are fringe there.
the talent pool down here is just to short for you not to end up with a few pricks or more dotted into each league.
Your best bet is to find a group of guys who are gonna stand up for each other and have some fun after the games.
just my casual obs.
Later,
Chuckles
….ahem….you mean like, oh I don’t know….WEEVIL NATION!!!
I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be back next saysun. Plus who’s gonna hump Tom in the parking lot if I leave?
Take it ease!
All I will say is “thank gagagagagagoooooodness” BM will be back!
Sattora?
I will rent and play in a clown suit our first game in fall
I thought it over after many deep breathes and still don’t want to play. I was okay with the 40 min drive and higher league fees cause I was having a lot of fun.
This is probably not the best form of communication to use to discuss some of our family’s concerns…we should problem think about breaking some bread, let say at Casa Lingua to discuss….
What a bunch of whining jibberish…..Your 2nd point is kicked in the ass by this gem….
Now let us move over to the topic that our team played like a bunch of gabadouches. We started the game confused and out of position. No puck movement and our shots were not on net. There were more than our share of odd man rushes into our zone. And back checking was atrocious.
….Looks like the other goalie and team kicked your elitist asses straight up. Gabadouche indeed.
I’m honestly just looking to step up my play and looking for A hockey. I think I’m starting to get my legs back and dropping weight, so I should step up to the A-team with Murdock. I’d would love to be on the sub list if possible.
First off, we played like hosers last night. The other team wasn’t great, but they were riding their hot goalie like bMoore rode Tommy in the parking lot. And they netted a few on Michelle they never should have gotten their sticks on because we sucked it up on both ends of the ice.
Secondly, Sattora you can’t quit. Settle this on the ice, not in front of your computer reading another bMoore game summary (by the way, did anyone notice bMoore congratulating himself for a well written write-up?) or a Skatch Game Report wishing you were still on the ice. There are jackasses everywhere. Take, for example, this story I heard about a guy who told a Chinese man to bring in his air conditioning unit before he would fix it. Well the guy brings in his condenser and is charged $2000 more than what he needed anyway because the AC repair guy was too busy laying a dump in his colleagues shitter. Holy shyte, that is just crazy!
Besides, sattora, if you leave then bMoore has promised to take me under his wing and mentor me and, quite frankly, this scares the living shit out of me. I mean, who knows what lurks up in there (side note: the guy deep throats straight pretzels and chocolate chip cookies).
SKATCH, Make mine an XXL, with go-go gadget arm sleeves (if possible).
I’ll be in for the next season…
Peace out.
Sattora…what I find interesting is the rather sudden change of heart. Were you not just saying pre-game that last weeks parking lot festivities were of epic proportions?? That you hadn’t laughed that hard in forever?? Sounds like you were having fun to me. If losing a game like last night’s and getting ribbed for taking the loss too seriously are enough to make you quit…..so be it. There are at least 13 other people who feel differently. I understand your frustration, but jesus friggin’ christmas, it’s REC LEAGUE HOCKEY!!! Guys are goinna be late, or not show up at all….lines are gonna be lopsided….refs are going to miss calls…..that’s just the way it is. If the experience of playing with us on this team is not enough to keep you here….in the immortal words of Mooj from 40-Year Old Virgin….go fuck a goat!!
come on - the real reason is he misses TENO
OK - I am a CLOWN! - Beat you to it satsan
You and RYB go back and forth getting everybody all riled up. … Who are you talking about here?
Hey guys, I play on the Vincent’s team and watched most of the game last night. I’m not so sure that your theories hold up. From what I saw, that appeared to be the same lineup that Magna has been playing with all season long. I think the major factor in your loss last night boils down to 2 things. First off, you way under estimated Magna and their abilities (which isn’t all that much). Second off, you guys are just no where near as good as you think you are. Watching the game, Magna controlled the flow and outplayed you guys the whole time I was able to watch. Let’s face it, you are a 1 or 2 player team and when an opponent can shut those two guys down, the rest of you pretty much suck. Magna focused on who they needed to and kept their game simple while you guys tried to hotshot it out there and could never get anything going. Quite frankly, I’d be surprised if you won your next game. You really should be a bottom half of the league standings team. To be honest, I can’t wait to play you guys because as bad a team as Magna is, they exposed you all for what you are, a 1-dimensional team that has to rely on 1 or 2 guys to do all the scoring. God forbid one of them does not show up, you might as well not even bother suiting up. Maybe a little less man-love in the locker room before the game will keep you from skating so slowly during the games. But at least you all hang around in the parking lot and drink wine coolers and Zimas together.
Jesus, I leave for a couple weeks and all hell breaks loose. WTF is going on here?
At first I thought the write-up was a sick April-Fools Day joke or something, then it becomes apparent that it’s for real. Then all this back-and-forth crap in the comments. I just don’t get it.
Anyway, I’m sorry to hear the team took a hit last night. Like Ant said, that’s why there are 7-game series at the highest level. Too bad it can’t be that way for us, but so be it. We’ll get ‘em next time.
I won’t be there next week but I sure hope to play in the last game of the season.
Hey HockeyMan…..what do your mother and dog shit have in common??
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Take your typo laden, non-grammatically correct, fourth grade manifesto and catch the next short bus that passes by that double-wide meth lab you call a home. Nobody here really cares what you think….
…but here’s a piece of advice for you….learning how to correctly pronounce the phrase “would you like fries with that?” without spitting or drolling all over your paper hat will serve you very well in your future carteer endeavors, you friggin’ nub.
Yes we lost cause we played badly. But I doubt one dimensional describes us. We don’t have a Zeeeepa. We did say in the write up that they were only possibilities. We did not say for sure that they played with a new team. And at the conclusion we stated this, “Is it possible that Magna just showed up with their regular roster and beat us fair and square? I think so”.
All in all they played well and I hope their due comes to them as they have patiently waited to make their strike.
Good luck to all next year and we should all look to make it a better experience every year.
The talking is all good if it is taken in the correct context, but the context get bias and twisted when one is reading it. So please take it with a grain of salt.
OK I just hit the gym and Bmoore hugged me Oh so tenderly in the parking lot. I have decreased my level of testosterone and proper brain function is restored. First off I love playing with you guys and do have a lot of fun. I love every one of you CLOWNS. It quickly goes bad however when we communicate with the Ringers and we have homogehy secret ballet posts on here. I already admitted that I lose my temper at the drop of a hat and in general tend to be a very angry young-middleage man. And yes it does bother me a lot that we lost last night and no one gave a shit. I thought everyone on this crew hated losing (I kept the same mind set). We get more pissed when we only beat teams by 5 goals instead of 10. Didn’t know we pulled Stallone’s and turned our trucker hats around like a switch. We either care or we don’t…lets pick one. I do want to step up my play and do an A-team, but I don’t think I would ever find such a fabulous group of guys to play with (wise words chuckles). As Bmoore reminded me, I can do both. I lost my temper and wanted to quit based on the following:
1. Very tired of the Ringer/Weevil shit. That is old and dead. No one on this team cares. This is basically an entirely new team. I don’t even want to communicate with that team. Lets not add to it anymore by laying my body on it’s side (thanks for finally changing that). Why would we glorify that asshole taking a shot at me? Not the first time it has happened to me…I’m over it…I really don’t care at this point. For some reason they love giving me shit, so why play into it. Don’t post on their website or respond to them. It hurts our team overall.
2. We either want to play to win or treat it for what it is…a REC LEAGUE as Cow spelled out clearly. I’m fine with either, but I guess I was mistaken in my thinking that we made a team decision to be a play to win team.
3. Increasingly difficult making lines and listening to complainers. I make lines based on the fact that we were a play to win team. If we want to make it democratic then lets draw straws for lines or something. I don’t really care, but need some direction from the team. Lets air things out here….Am I picking lines to win or to make everyone happy (impossible)? If we decide to be a play to win team I don’t want to hear complaints or look at the pussy face on the bench and locker room when you don’t get to play with who you wanted to play with or got pulled off the ice when we were in a crucial game defining situation. Honestly it may be easier to just have a random picks on lines then an attempt at strategy or a PP line. Some people are just too fragile for that type of strategy if they are not on a certain line or on the ice when they think they should be.
Uni is right we should break bread and talk this out. Sorry I lost my temper out of frustration and quit like a HG. I’ll be the first to call myself out. Somewhat justified in my eyes, but should have talked it out, hugged it out. Cow I’ll fuck a goat as soon as you put on the goat costume.
Diddle, can you start a team only forum for everyone to air out their shyte and we can decide on a play to win team spare no one’s feelings team or a rec who cares drink beer team.
Nice post
With all of these peeps coming to the website, is anyone clicking on my google ads? I would appreciate it as I get 1/2 of 1 percent of nothing every time you click.
” But at least you all hang around in the parking lot and drink wine coolers and Zimas together.”
Coming from the team that gives each other hummers in the piss soaked bathroom of Vincents after a few Miller Chill’s?
I was curious as to why you didnt watch the whole game, did someone take away the phonebook you were standing on? You know you should really be at least 18 or 4′2″ to view/comment on this website.
By the way tell that Cougar mother of yours I said “naughty, naughty”, she’ll know what that means, when she comes to pick you up from the rink.
Hey Hockeyman
Here are a few questions…
1. If we are a 1 or 2 man team as you claim, how does it feel to lose to us every time you played us? Does that make you a no man team?
2. If your mommy let you play on the internet more then 10 minutes at a time you would have gone to check out the league leaders. I believe the Weevils hold strong in the top 5. I do believe we have 4 guys up there. Try to remember back to last year as you sat in your little desk in the third grade. The alligator mouth opens to the bigger number. 4 players being bigger then 2 players.
3. We did under estimate Magna, you are right about that. They beat us, we lost, no big deal. I just find it funny that while you could have been any place you wanted to, you decided to watch us play. We hold a “learn to play hockey clinic” every fall for guys like you. We can give you a free pass for the next session. No need to stand on your stool to watch us play.
4. Hockeyman??? Have some balls….Post your real name. We would love to know your identity so we can skate circles around you next time we play
Here is where we stand - please let me know if there is a mistake……
Ved / 19 / xxl
Miche / 31 / Goalie cut
zarb / 4 / xl
skatch / 24 / xxl
satsan / 89 / xl
bm / 97 / xxl B moore are u changing number?
diddy / 8 / xl
cow / 40 / xl
uni / 11 / xxl
myzee / 17 / xl
Yao / 77 / xxl / with go go gadget arm extension’s
Pinna / 3 / xl
charlotte / 22 / m
Tom ?
Rich ?
Sattora…you’re lucky I spoke to Diddle, because I had the retort of all retorts 99% written when he called me!! Now that you’ve chilled a tad, I’ll save my frustration for some other unlucky soul. One thing I do want to say is …….baaaaa (or whatever sound a goat makes…).
Saktch….let’s handle the jersey issues in a seperate forum. I’ve created one under the “Other Stuff” folder. The updated list is in their and all posts pertaining to the order should go their. Continue to use the “Jersey Mock-up” forum for any new design issues.
just trying to get maximum exposure cow……
I need to get quote requests going - need numbers and sizes - I need things set can’t keep calling canada to change things - also you a didle mention extra “team” jerseys - what numbers and sizes and how many vancouver
I emailed the team to get everyone to update their jersey info. I would order 3 additional snow camo jerseys. Use single digit numbers that aren’t being requested by current players. I’ll get that Vancouver info to you by tomorrow.
How many total guys do you have on the roster?
by the way yao, i didnt write the story. i was congratulating diddle, so dontdon que.
love,
Knuckle Child #23567895110001546969692
Sattora - Thanks for coming back to us. This frees me from being under BMoore’s wing (it stinks up in there). I say play to win, play to have fun…the two should go hand in hand. I’ll let the upper management make the decision, and do as I’m told. I need another 2 years before i can claim free agency and bust balls making decisions that will change the game as we know it. Until then, i’m the only guy tall enough to see hockeyman when he’s not standing on his phone book.
Yeah, dontdon que
Cow let me guess what your response was: Did it have something to do with multiple chins? Or a shiny object? Or smelling similar to Pepperoni or some other meat product. Or maybe it was the kill of all kills referencing an unknown creature that goes by the name of MONGO? ZING!
No…I actually updated my repertoire just for you…but there was lots of cursing….and I think a vague reference to a garbage plate…no fat jokes, because your are PHAT!!
Mongo like garbage plate.
cow you write this article at goathead.com?
http://www.goatheads.com/home/gh1/page_46/meet_the_weevil_that_can_help_control_puncturevine.html
Hey do you think we can make it up to 100 posts
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I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been in a cave for 2 days without any internet access. I think Ved has been posting all this crap under all of our names. Knock it off Ved…you’re going to get us in trouble. Damn, somebody needs to shut this guy up!!