Weevil fans, the real news from our latest adventure last night was that B. Moore downed a cougar in Dallas, TX and Diddle was berated by the HG Ringers for joking with their goalie about playing with a classiest team in hockey next season. We did sign him by the way and we also got a lock on #7 from the Rump Rangers, who also expressed the need for a SOLID team. For anyone else interested in joining this fine club, we have open tryouts in the Fall.

Teno Dictionary Entry:

A cougar cannot be defined in a simple definition. One cannot consciously seek out a cougar. One can only prepare himself for confirming the positive identity of a cougar by familiarizing himself with the common signs/traits of the cougar. Once one instinctively feels the potential presence of a cougar on the prowl, he can fall back on what he knows about cougars in general to positively confirm and report a cougar sighting.

Here are the most common signs/traits that your instincts may have accurately identified a cougar nearby:
1. A single woman over 30 appears to be at least 51 months older than she is biologically.
2. A single woman over 30 is talking to your 25 year-old ass about tunes on “Pyromania� and you’re able to keep the conversation rolling with your knowledge of “The Vault� and interest in her white high-tops.
3. A single woman over 30 is overheard talking to a group of college men about how she used to date a college guy when she was in 7th grade because the color of his Camaro was the same as her back pocket comb.

So, how does one warn/notify a buddy that he may be talking with a cougar? Whisper into his ear, “Easy cougar, you’re doin’ fine.� (That’s from Top Gun for those of you that don’t possess my movie credentials).

On to the game. The night started out with a scramble to find 2 SOLID forward lines and 4 Defenseman for Diddle. B. Moore Punctual was still in the locker room from the night before in preparation for his defeat of Mr. Zepa’s glorious #1 spot on the scoring leader list. We were able to recruit Mini-Moore and Mr. Brown to SOLIDIFY our forward lines. San was eyeballin’ everyone in the locker room making sure everyone was fully prepared for another SOLID game between 2 SOLID teams. Pinna actually broke down in tears when he made eye contact with the deadly Japanese warrior. San politely told Pinna that his crouching tiger was no match for his eagle claw.

The weevils strike first with one of Pinna’s masterblaster shots (Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome) 2 Min into the first. I think Pinna should start carrying Teno on his shoulders being the true Masterblaster. Teno follows 2 minutes later with a shot like it came from his baby’s knuckle, assisted by BMP on a great breakout pass from San at our blue line (left off the scoresheet as usual). San breaks the seal for Weevs with a penalty from the hateful Ref. I think the call was lifting the opposition’s stick and taking the puck, which we saw again from Brown later on in the game. Excellent call Sir!

In standard Weevil fashion we let the Rump Rangers score 2 at the start of the 2nd period to give them a fighting chance. Then we crush their hopes of a Weevil defeat with a goal from BMP, assisted by Evander on yet another amazing breakout pass from San. Boy this kid really makes things happen out there!! Unfortunately this did not make the scoresheet, murdering San’s chances of defeating Zepa the great (one game left – Go get him BMP). At the end of the 2nd, Teno decides to let San know how he really feels and takes one of his blistering slap shots directly at the back of San’s upper thigh. With Teno’s pinpoint accuracy, it makes it hard to believe it was accidental. San was okay and walked away with a mosquito bite. If he used his patented, scooping fade shot it may have done some damage though.

The Weevils outscore the Rump Rangers 3-1 in the 3rd period, swapping shorthanded goals for a final score of 6-3. The Weevs look forward to their final game of the regular season Vs. the Rebels, lead by Captain Zepa. Will underdog B. Moore win the scoring title against the feared Zepa? A true Cinderella story? Will we end up in a 1st place tie with our rivals, the Ringers, when we defeat Zepa’s band of misfits? Exciting stuff Weevil fans!! Stay tuned for another epic tale from San’s journal next week. Actually this may be the only entry from San’s journal because this blows. Cow when are you getting over the HIV? Tommy Gun didn’t have any problems!

Captain San’s weekly diatribe:

1. Better D-zone coverage.
2. Cleaner breakouts.
3. Wingers stay on your points.