Taint Taps and Snatch Spotting
Only 9 Weevils showed up to the bowl of frozen white liquid for a chance to propel our bug asses into sole 3rd place.
The night was rainy and cold, but at least a few Weevils decided to for go their tickets to the Canes game and showed up to piss off the Rangers as much as we could.
At the beginning of the game, Sattora-san (aka Peanut Butter) scrutinizes the skaters we have and put us into 2 lines of offense and 3 defenseman. As we know that 3 defensemen doesn’t work well for us, the 3 we picked tonight were hustling and grinding more than anyone. Yeah, they did throw up a few times on the bench, but not one drop hit the ice. We started out the game by giving the puck to Teno skating down the center of the pond. The narcolepsy kicks in at the perfect moment totally faking out the goalie and deposits it lower left cause we all know he can’t go top right! Due to the exhaustion that was setting in early, I think I missed the next goal which was probably netted by Sattora-san. I am also pretty sure that BMP attributed to that play as well. I overheard the management discussing the fact that he has not really lived up to the hype he contributes everyday and we might have to move him to the B line. Well, he squashed that thought!
With only 9 guys, several Weevils thought they could run our normal 8 min shifts and still be functional when it was time to get it up. Bickering among ourselves, we watched our lead vanish as the Rangers #7 beat Pslow high right, high left and high right again. We are searching the web to find a custom ice stilts maker for Pslow to add to his pile of gear. In the second period, Skatch decides that it would be nice to give Sprague a Valentine’s present, a reach around with his stick. Sprague does his impression of a 4 year old girl who just got her teddybear taken away by the local bully. Pounding his fists on Skatch’s back without removing the 4 inches of padding wrapped around his knuckles. Luckily Pslow did not climb Mt Sprague and try to make him eat the goalie mit. Skatch got a game misconduct for Pre-Valentining and Sprague got an extra game for catfighting.
The match was tied 3-3 as we entered the third period. The passing was good as Myze creped in from the point catching the pass from Teno who got it from Sattora. He took the shot and followed the puck in true Myze fashion to pick up the trash and get hit from 3 angles after the play. Myze was playing like a man on a mission, when he was not in the box. True hustle and grit as he played hard for a minute and puked hard for a minute. I think it was #7 who got the next goal, just before Myze decided that his hockey career was over. Taking the initiative, Myze goes barreling into the boards and oops #7 just convienently slipped between himself and the boards at the perfect time. #7 goes down, “Oh my neck!, Oh my back, My back and my neck. Or maybe my foot.” Not sure what happened but premadonna had to be carried off the ice, leaving Myze with another slew of minutes to add to his account.
Right at the end of the game we took another penalty and let them come within 1 goal. 5-4 with 45 seconds left and they pulled their goalie. But Sattora-san wins the face-off to BMP who deposits it down the ice into the net from our zone. 6-4 and we start to rejoice.
We are going to do a little top ten tonight, due to the popularity of the Weevils…
Top Ten Reasons Everyone Hates The Weevils:
10. Pee Slow keeps showing his nuts during intermissions.
9. Be Moore Punctual keeps showing up.
8. Neil
7. Skatch’s Taint Tappers
6. Pinna’s Mama Jokes
5. Superior Drinking abilities
4. Neil
3. Someone keeps tongue punching fartboxes in the crease
2. The smell of our goalie
1. Neil
That is right folks, the Rocky Mt Butt Rangers skated off the ice without shaking our hands. To quote a bugged Weevil, “That is just so middle school man, where is my bowl?”
Well the parking lot festivities were not interrupted as we had beers in the armadillo deck. Ripping on Pslow and replentishing our liquified barley & hops sports drink. The only other thing to say is.. Whens Weber get back?
Well put…
I hope that old man’s mother is still around to read this, or at least still play with her penis.
Great Story Diddle. Definitely one of your best so far. I love the top ten, and suggest that it be a reoccuring theme.
Good write-up Diddle…I especially liked the top 10 list. Couple things…it’s spelled “prosecuted” and “endorsed”. When’s the dictionary make an appearance??
Hey, spelling is not one of Vincent’s skills. I just take the picture.
Great write-up Diddle…sounds like you guys had a great game! Man, I took a look at the score sheet on Pointstreak, you boys almost needed two pages for all the penalties!! (33 minutes) This has got to be close to the weevil record…
Thanks a bunch fellas! I am glad someone finally likes my write up. I might do another one now.
LOL Winning is fun ehh!! Great writeup lovethe top 10list. Looking forward to reading about the rematch with the scumbag cheepshot ringers.
How in the world do I get a 2 game suspension for hooking a guy between his legs to control his position in front of net. The sad thing is the ref only called it a “Spear” to offset the 5 min Fighting he gave Spraque because there is no 5 minute hooking penalty. Ref told me after game that he was going to give me a 2 minute but needed to up to 5 minute because I must have did something bad to trigger him to punch me in the head! Ref needs to call what he sees and not “guess”!
Skatch
Yes, this is bogus. They are also giving Myze a 2 game suspension just because he is the penalty leader. Nothing to do with the score sheet from the game. That is what you call bullshite.
I am currently in “negotiations” with Hart about all of it. Hold out on the lynching until I get a final answer.
Skatch that’s bologna brotha. I’ve never seen anything like that. All you have to do is show Sprague’s previous game sheets. According to Teno, he gets in a fight almost every game. It was nothing you did….I think the dude just isn’t wired right. In other words, I think the guy is nuts.
Yes! I just noticed he was very close to the top of PIM list in Fall 06′ league. I guess they are only giving him a 1 game suspension because they want him to get right back into “the swing of things” with some more haymakers to someone’s head!
The league and refs are clueless…… and pretty much an embarasment…… to the game of hockey
Well i bet you didn’t expect to hear from an enemy did ya? Just thought you guys should know you suck big donkey balls and are only useful for initiating fights, which apparently you bastards call “hockey”. The saddest thing is gonna be when one of you old farts get’s a broken hip from myself during gametime. Who might I be??? You’ll only know when it’s too late. Thank you for your time and i hope all of your children are born blind and develop down syndrome. As for yourselves, well i’d just like to see you all die slowly from testicular cancer just to see the joy in your families eye’s knowing they don’t have to put up with some bullshit ass-clown of a role model. Fuck You all very much!
I don’t think it’s Sprague cause I don’t think he is bright enough to navigate the internet or knows what it is yet. My bet is the 80 y/o man that Pinet insulted. Definitely very angry though. Was posted fairly late….beer (or should I say prune juice) muscles? Big words for staying anonymous. Don’t we have 46 goals or something in 6 games…seems like we’re doing something.
Yo, I know you guys are goin to see this. Unlike my teammate, which honestly i dont know who it is, ill tell you who i am. Im the #7 “premadonna”. I got no problem with pushing and shoving, especially in an adult league. What i do got a problem is when you guys are proud that you took someone out and dont have the balls to say sorry in a rec league. I just found out your man got suspended, personally i dont think he deserved it. Did he check me, yea. Ive been skating since i was 3 years old. I dont “fall into the boards”. What you guys didnt know is that my knee was fucked up before i even stepped onto that ice that night. I didnt fake shit to get a penelty, why would I with a minute left? You were a tough team and I enjoyed the game, kept us on edge, I like that. But dont go spreading rumors or calling names like you did, its doesnt do shit other then make the next game more into a UFC match. Next game, ill be there and Im still going to play my hardest. I know there are guys on your team that want to just play, so why not huh?
On behalf of the team, we’re sorry that happened to you. In our defense, we did pound our sticks on the ice for you when you got up, which is standard when someone is injured. I’m sorry you didn’t receive a verbal apology from the person that injured you. I have been playing as long as you and played Jr A for a few years in the Toronto Metro League. I have like 10 PIMs over the past 3 seasons like a lot of the other players on our team. In a game 3 weeks ago I had a guy flat out check me open ice (never seen anyone cheap shotted as bad in this league)…I haven’t been able to bite down fully since (he only got 2 min for interference BTW). I don’t think you should put everyone on the team in the same category. One person hurt you, not the entire team. I don’t think the player that hurt you from our team meant to. He does play aggressive and is a very competitive guy, but I have to think it was not intentional. I work for a living and honestly just want to come out for a good skate, I hate cheap shot artists. I agree that things like this create bad blood and it’s stupid, extremely immature. It’s mainly guys that have no talent or never really played that game that take it to seriously and cheap shot guys. I don’t put you in the same category as Sprague who is always a penalty leader in all the leagues he plays in, so I would expect the same from you and your other teammates. Solid post though, seriously. Good to see someone with some class. I hope there is no bad blood and we can have a good game next time we play. I know I don’t want one of your “troubled” players taking any cheap shots at me.
Hey Lucky #7,
I am sorry that you did get injured on the play I hate to see anyone go down as well( i had knee surgery myself) . The play where you got hurt I was going into the boards trying to protect the puck with my feet, I was very suprised to find your leg in between me and the boards. If you noticed the ref on the goal line said he did not think it was a penalty (and said that), but the ref at blue line called a penalty.
I definately don’t have the skills of you or other players on the team, so I try to make up for it by playing hard and skating all the way to the puck.
The ref sent me to the box pretty quick and after the game some of your players were pretty hostile towards (telling me to f-off when I tried to shake their hand, etc.). I did not think it would be a good idea to come into your locker room.
I thought it was a hard fought game right to the end. I really look forward to playing you guys again. If someone on your team wants to take a shot at me, go ahead. I know I got knocked around pretty well the last game and I really don’t mind it at all.
Good luck with the knee, hope the next time we play its another good game.
MYZE
Thanks guys, its pretty cool of you guys to respond, especially myze. I never thought it intentional to take me down and I even said I never thought it deserved a suspension. I knew before we played that I had a chance of getting hurt, that was my risk. I dont blame any of you on the team. I sent an email out to my team telling them exactly what i thought about everything and I havent heard anything back. I didnt hear about anyone wanting to go after myze so I dont think that would be a problem, I will deffinitly make it a point for nobody to relaliate on my behalf. Our next game should be a good one. Im not looking for anything other then a good well skated game from both teams. Thanks again guys for being cool about that. I never lump a team into a catagory. Players are all different and they all are important, even the thugs. See ya guys around
Now that we’re all done sucking each others collective dick’s, can we get back to playing the hockies and stop with the BS. We are both scrappy, aggressive teams that play hard to the puck. Contact is going to happen and it’s a shame someone got hurt from it…but it definitely wasn’t intentional on our end. None of us want to get hurt nor do we want to see anyone else go down. We do not encourage nor promote chippy play on our squad and when it happens it gets addressed immediately. Hopefully the next game will be just another hard battle for every puck. Thanks for posting and we all appreciate the games you give us…they’re always tough but a lot of fun as well. Looking forward to another epic battle…but tell Sprague he smells like pepperoni….
What makes you think i play with the Rangers? I just happened to pass by and see some terribly cheap shots that were appalling to say the very least. goodbye
I guess this person does not want to be named. Must be a joker, should I delete the posts because he won’t fess up to who he is?
Hell no. Shows our hardwork has paid off. We got a fan!!! Thanks YourFatMother for your support! We love the recognition man.
…and I too smell like pepperoni…
…I’m really just a dickless mook who has plenty of time on my hands since the labotomy….I usually just spend my days staring at shiney objects and drooling on my Phonix workbook, but my Mom showed me how to operate this keyboard by rubbing peanut butter on the keys…so now I can show off my second grade level writing skills with you guys…Mongo like peanut butter!!
Damn Timmy, I thought we had a fan!
Who you callin’ Timmy?!?!?
Well it was either him or you… you both smell like pepperoni.
Wow you guys are a bunch of homogays.
WOW… never seen so many posts. Seems like My fat mother is very upset. She must have a heavy flow and a wide set vagina.
I agree with Sattora, #7’s a pretty classy dude.
Diddle watch your back Busta!
I am not afraid of anyones fat mama.
Pickles give me gas.
STOP IT
Hey Diddle, you got a purdy mouth boy!
That wasn’t me…whoever I am….
This whole thing is a riot. #7 at least is a good sport about it all. Noone was trying to take anyone out in the least bit. It is a fucking mens league, and apparently the Rangers didnt get the memo. I just feel sorry for #7 that his back is always hurting from carrying that group of scrubs around all the time, they are all fucking hacks besides him, hes a good player. They talk alot of shit about us considering EVERY whistle they are bitching about something, a “no-call”, or where the faceoff is, etc…. Grow up a little bit. Your in your 40’s and 50’s, never had any sports moments in your life to be proud of, and are trying to live out the glory now. Besides #7 and maybe 3 or 4 others, that team is worse than us, even Myze!